A scheme to provide all artists with $1Million each

Did you hear about this bloke who’s suing a casino for the $30 Million dollars they let him throw at them? Gosh! I hope he gets his money back. But on one condition: that he gives 30 artists a million dollars each. Why? Well, it will cure him of his gambling addiction. I promise. Sue me if I’m wrong. How do I know I’m right? Think about it. What do you have to become to give a million dollars each to people who can do something useful with it? While I’m at it, I might as well extend the offer of a cure to the whole Australian population. All you gamblers: do this simple thing and you will change not only yourselves, but the world – well this country to start with. In the 2005 – 06 financial year $18.8 billion dollars was lost on legal gambling in Australia. That’s 18,000 artists who could be set up for life to make the kind of contribution to this country that no amount of spending on anything else could achieve. What’s more, that’s 18,000 artists per year. It’s not going to take more than a few years to get all artists in Australia set up, then we can start on the rest of the world. The point is, of course, where would you start? How would you go about it? Well, since it’s my idea I’ll work it out. It’ll take me a couple of days to work out how to tell the artists from the bull shit artists; but you can all wait that long, I expect. What about the $0.8 billion left after the rest has gone to good homes? Well, that’ll be my fee. Did I tell you I applied for a job at Macquarie Bank last century? They haven’t got back to me yet. Any day now, but. Eh?